The old saying "what you eat is where you are" rings especially true in Scotland. However, there are a few tips worth mentioning for your dining pleasure. The primary suggestion and the one I'm covering today is, if it sounds bad, it generally is bad. There are notable exceptions and I'll mention a few at the end of this note. But let's get right down to it.
Your starter dish will be Cullen Skink. It's a soup made from haddock but also includes poached eggs. I fail to see the natural marriage of these ingredients but take it from someone who has tasted it, sounds bad, is way bad. Your intermediate starter is the lovely sounding Giblet Pie. This may be the last thing you will ever eat. Rigor mortis sets in nearly immediately. I will spare you the ingredients. Ahhh, the main course....today, we'll be having pigeon casserole. No ordinary pigeons these, they must be plump and they must be young. And don't forget to throw in a knob of butter and a cup of Armagnac. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. For dessert (the Scottish can't be blamed for this one, it's primarily an English dish), you will be savouring Spotted Dick. It's a log shaped suet pudding with currants. I assume the currants are thrown in there to keep you off balance. Surprisingly there is a big market for "spotted richard". Heinz makes a canned version. Yummy.
You probably noticed that I made no mention of the national dish, Haggis. I like it. It does sound bad but it is very good. Imagine a cross between Thanksgiving stuffing and a sausage and you have a rough idea on its taste. My best tip for eating it is to forget what it is. Let's leave it at that.
My favorite "sounds bad" but is very good is not Haggis. It's the auspiciously named, Roastit Bubblyjock and Cheston Crappin'. All hail roast turkey and chestnut stuffing!
For me, it becomes more and more apparent every day that the Scots should have let the Romans conquer them, steal a few recipes and then, given them the boot.
By the way, nothing like the above is ever served at Monarchs House. Bon Appetite.
I remain,
Slightly nauseous,
Mike
3 comments:
Michael...Your descriptive narration of the assorted cuisine has forced me to eat only apples....The visuals conjured, I can practically smell the Cullen Skink...HA.
Glad to know your sabbatical is not interferring with your humor. and wonder if soaking this stuff up with a hunk of bread will help at all? Dispeptically, Mary Grace
I am laughing so hard I'm crying. Sounds like Scotland is the PERFECT place to go and lose weight - with food like that, who wants to eat? Hope you have no plans on June 9 or 19 - looks like one of those dates will be our wedding date!
Be well,
Elizabeth Ann
Beth,
I have some bad news for you. I'm already married so the 9th won't work and neither will the 19th. I'm very sorry.
Mike
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